


Punch-Line

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: AU, Escape, F/M, Healthy Relationships, Oral Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Wounded, hide-out, mad love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 05:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6597778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barely escaping the Batman, Joker and Harley make it to their hide-out</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punch-Line

“MUSIC!!” Harley appeared above Batman and the Joker, the two of them locked in a fist fight in the remains of a rusted old warehouse, but Harley was here to rescue her lover. One of her goons, dressed in a red and black tutu like her, hit the boombox play button. The song “Cherry Bomb” filled the small space. She lifted her huge hammer with a wild grin. Her hair was black and red this evening and she wore a tiny skirt of red, a matching black tank top and high-tops that ran up the length of her calves. She blew a bubble with her bubblegum and leapt down. 

The Joker laughed and gave an over the top wolf whistle despite his bloody lip as Harley Quinn crashed down between him and the Bat, just missing Batman by mere inches. “Damn it!” she snarled. “Get away from my puddin!!” She came up out of her crouch and swung her hammer around; the Bat leaning so far out of the way he had to catch himself on his hands. He flipped, almost kicking Harley, but Joker grabbed her around the waist lifting her out of the way. Harley squealed when Joker grabbed her, but he threw her behind him moving in low to hit Batman in the stomach with his shoulder. 

“Trying to hit my girl, Batman?! Well that's just rude!” The two men went down just as Harley's music changed to “The Fight Song” from Marilyn Manson. “GET 'EM SUGAR!!” Harley yelled jumping up and down like a cheerleader. 

Joker came flying backward landing on his rear on the concrete and sliding across the floor. 

Harley squealed!! “BABY!!” 

She narrowed her eyes at Batman. “You hurt my sugar again, you freakin BAT!” She took off at a run, her hammer over her shoulder. Batman staggered out of the corner he and Joker had just been in, having gotten to his feet just in time to see Harley's hammer came swinging at him, striking him in the chest and knocking him off his feet again. She hit him hard enough that he disappeared back into the darkness of the warehouse. 

Harley ran over to Joker. He was lying on his back chuckling, but it was pretty clear he was hurting, his purple striped suit was stained with blood, most of it his and what looked to be burn marks in places. “Come on Mr. J. Let's go home.” 

“You know, Pumpkin, that sounds like a good idea.” He let Harley help him to his feet, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

Joker leaned heavily on her; he was more hurt than he would admit. She moved as swiftly as she could holding him up and yelled up at her guy with the boombox. “Get the others down here! Find 

Batman and show him how we feel about him beating up Mr. J! If you lose my music, I'm going to kill you, okay?!” The guy gave her a grin and a salute, grabbing the boombox and running to get the others. 

Harley tried to move quickly, but Mr. J had a hard time keeping his feet under him. “I swear one of these days I am going to cut that Bat's nuts off!!” 

Joker chuckled and then coughed spitting out some blood. 

They got to the van, on the outside it looked like any old, beat up white van with tinted windows, nothing special. It was the inside that was spectacular. Decked out in purple and green with a touch of sparkling light from Harley, the van had a bed in it covered in outrageous pillows all with card motifs, with a pile of stuffed toys in the corner. There was even a computer set up in the dash with all the latest and greatest gadgets that the Joker had come up with to make the van a Jokermobile as Harley kept calling it. 

She helped him lie down on the bed and slammed the door shut before she jumped into the driver's seat. Harley grinned manically when she started the engine. Suddenly there was the sound of shattering wood and groaning metal as out of nowhere the batmobile burst from around the corner of the warehouse. 

“Oh hell no!!! That fucking BAT!” Harley snarled. “Hold on, Mr. J!!” 

She spun the wheel swiftly, hand over hand, the van tittered then turned. Joker groaned slamming into the side with a muttered. “Told you not to bring the van! Owf!! Damn it.” He chuckled trying to sit up holding his side while Harley drove the van like a race car expert. She zoomed pass the batmobile flipping Batman the bird while they drove by and then headed out toward the docks. Joker stumbled to his feet to grab the back of the passenger seat to keep his balance. “Puddin don't sit in the seat! I just had them cleaned—you're going to get blood all over them!” 

Joker sat down anyway holding onto the dash while she swung the van in a wide arch, the batmobile hot on their tail. He stuck his tongue out at her and Harley did the same right back. “There's a couple of guns under the seat,” she muttered. 

Joker leaned down to get them, almost hitting his head on the dash with a snarled, “Watch it, Harley!” 

She made another face at him, hitting a button on the dash and rolled out the explosives he had installed under the carriage. Granted, driving like this there was a good chance that the whole van would have gone up in flames, but it hadn't and now that she had released them for the Bat to play with, they didn't need to worry about it. 

Joker blew her a kiss and tossed her one of the weapons which made her grin widen. “I am going to tie you to the bed when we get home!” 

Joker smirked. “Promise Buttercup?” 

“Oh, yeah. I cross my heart sweetie!” She leaned out of the driver's window and took a couple of pot-shots at the batmobile, sending the caped vigilante skidding to avoid her armor piercing rounds. She snickered, coming back in to avoid a couple of dumpsters. “Do we still have the handcuffs from your last escape?” 

Joker leaned out, taking a couple of shots and then sat back with a frown, putting a gloved finger to his chin in though. “I think so. Aren't they under the bed?” 

Harley twisted the steering wheel hard to the left taking the turn so quickly the van almost went up on two wheels. Harley squealed and laugh with the Joker chuckling right along with her. 

“Hold on sweetheart! I think I know how to lose the Bat!” Joker leaned forward, his eyes roaming over the panel. He grinned and hit a big green button. Suddenly there was the sound of an explosion behind them. Harley looked out her side-view mirror to see an explosion of purple paint hit the windshield of the batmobile. The car skidded out of control, Batman blinded by the paint just long enough that his vehicle slammed into a couple of trucks. Harley squealed, hitting the ceiling of the van. “YES!!” 

Joker grinned settling back in the seat, holding the gun against his side. 

* 

They arrived back at their hideout, Harley pulling the van into the garage after hitting the button to lift the door. She parked the van and glanced over at Joker. His eyes were closed. “Mr. J?” 

He didn't answer. Her heart began to beat painfully. She reached over, touching his arm. “Joker?” 

He didn't move. She started to panic. “Joker!!!” She grabbed him shaking him hard, his eyes flying open with a snarl. “What??!!” 

“Oh, God damn it Mr. J!! You scared me!!” She took a steadying breath, jumped out of the van, moved around to open his door and helped him out of the van. 

He groaned a little as she tossed his arm over her shoulder and started to lead him up the stairs to their cozy little hole in the wall. The other guys had rooms down around the garage, but the upstairs was their private quarters where Joker worked on his plans and schemes. She pushed the door open with her hip, reaching out to flick on the lights. The place was a little bit of a mess only because Joker had boards everywhere with plans on top of plans. There were tables, desks with gadgets and goodness knew what else for all of Joker's ideas. She loved that about him, the way his brain was always working. 

She moved him through that room to the next room where they had a tv, radio equipment and other devices for monitoring the news feeds and several computers where Joker liked to play with the web. She had her own computer too, so they could play online together. Mayhem and destruction through the virtual universe was one of their favorite pastimes. They were keeping a list of sites that had banned them. Joker had worked out how to fuck with those sites. It was glorious! When they were feeling particularly annoying they would challenge each other with writing the most outrageous Wikipedia possible on the Batman. 

Finally she got to the bedroom. Joker dragged, moving even slower. His eyes kept falling shut, which made Harley have to jar him to open them again. 

Finally she got him to their bed and settled him back on the bed. She took off his shoes, pants and eased him out of his shirt and jacket. She found a deep laceration on his side where he had lost a lot of blood and several bruises were starting to bloom on his white skin. Along with those there were the split lip, however many times that damn Bat had hit him in the face, slamming his head on the concrete floor and another laceration along his left thigh. 

Harley swore under her breath and got the first aid kit they kept. She had become quite skilled at sewing up wounds, removing bullets and tending to other miscellaneous injuries since hooking up with the Joker. 

She retrieved a syringe and gave her lover an injection of pain killers followed by antibiotics. “Puddin?” 

He opened one green eye and then grinned at her. “Go ahead Harley.” 

She pressed her lips together and then started to sew him up. He didn't react—he very seldom did, his body a road map of scars. She finished, cleaned him up and then pulled the blankets over him. He opened an eye again. “Don't be too long, Pumpkin.” 

She grinned. “Never, Sugarpie.” 

Harley stripped and stepped into the shower. She took her time, washing herself slowly. She had just rinsed her hair when the curtain was yanked back. She jumped a foot, turning to see Joker—naked--stepping into the shower with her. She moved out of the way so he could get under the shower head, letting the warm water run over him. The stitched up wounds probably stung, but he didn't act as if they did. He just closed his eyes and let the water run down his chest, then leaned forward with his hands on the back of the shower and let the water run down his back. 

Harley picked up the soap and began to lather up Joker's back, her hands kneading the muscles from his shoulders to his lower back, then over his backside and along his thighs. He let out a soft groan, but otherwise made no sound at all. She turned him around, soaping up his chest and stomach. His body was reacting to her ministrations, his shaft hard and erect. Harley smiled, her blue eyes meeting his, then her soapy hands ran down between his legs, along his shaft. Joker reached out to put his hands on either side of the shower stall to hold himself steady while Harley ran her hands up and down, the soap creating a delicious slippery slide for her hands. 

He groaned, a deep, low sound in his pale chest. 

She let the water rinse him off before dropping to her knees in front of him. He looked down at her, his green eyes intense. Harley ran her hands up his thighs, careful of his wounds. She caressed his stomach tickling gently when her fingers moved to his groin. Wrapping her hand around his erection she slid her lips down on him. He watched her, the water plastering his green hair around his face. He ran a hand through her long dual-colored hair gently, tenderly, closing his eyes. She was tender, gentle sucking in slow pulls, up and down that had him shuddering, struggling to keep his knees from going weak. 

She always enjoyed the way he felt in her mouth, the way his knees went weak when she did this to him. His hand was in her hair, fingers caressing her scalp. Hollowing her cheeks, Harley pulled back, her teeth just sliding along his delicate flesh. He gasped digging his fingers into her hair tighter. She backed him up against the wall, sucking deeper. “Gah...Harley!” 

Her lips pulled harder and faster, her hand sliding up and down with her mouth while with her other hand she cupped and squeezed him causing his head to drop back against the wall with a deep throaty moan. Harley continued; she wanted to bring him to completion, to hear his unrestrained cry. Her hand jerked back and forth with the sliding and sucking of her mouth, until he convulsed. 

When Joker jerked she sucked deeper, his fingers tightened in her hair just before he came with a cry. “Aahh!! Harley!! What a punch line!” 

She smiled around his shaft in her mouth, sucking down his fluids, her tongue tickling the underside of his erection. He sagged against the wall, just barely keeping his feet under him when she finally released him. 

“Harley...” She stood up, her knees a little sore, but she was grinning at her insane lover. “Feel better?” 

Her grin was coy. Laying her wet naked body against him, he wrapped his arms around her. He attacked her mouth, biting her lips her tongue, tasting himself in her mouth while their tongues slipped and twisted against each other. 

He surprised her, lifting Harley up, his fingers squeezing her rear when he pushed her up against the wall. His erection was still hard and he used it to pierce her, pinning her to the wall. Harley cried out with a smile. “Oh, Mr. J!!” 

“Tell me you want me to fuck you, Harley.” He hissed in a low deep voice against her neck which made her shudder. “Oh yes, Mr. J, fuck me please!” 

He grabbed her bottom lip with his teeth, just enough pain to be sexy, but not harmful, before he started a hard thrust into her. She gasped, wrapping her hands around his neck and holding on while he pounded her into the shower wall. Joker moved to put on his hands between them, his fingers searching until he found her clitoris. Once there, he started to rub her while he thrust. He moved his fingers slowly in gentle figure eights, mixed with harder strokes until he had her crying out. “OH, JOKER!! OH!! Yes!!” 

She came once that way, her whole body feeling liquid and relaxed like she could simply melt into a puddle. If he hadn't had her pinned with his body to the wall, she just might have melted to the floor. 

He hefted her rear up, changing his angle so that she cried out again, a climax racing up from her core spreading like a fire through her. He attacked her neck, tender bites then long licks with his tongue up to her ear, her breasts rubbing against his chest while he moved, sliding her up against the slick wall pressing deeply into her body. He chuckled, thrusting up into her with a deep steady rhythm. 

“Oh, I love you!” she groaned, then cried out again with a loud long groan. “Oh, yes!!” 

Joker chuckled again, pressing her against the wall, then he jerked, snarling with pleasure. He hissed against her neck. “I love you, Harley.” 

He slid her down the wall, dropping to his knees squeezing her ass hard, digging his fingers into her flesh, jerking her up his thighs, fucking her harder until they both cried out together. He bit down on her shoulder groaning out his orgasm against his flesh. She dug her nails into his shoulder jerking with pleasure. 

He nibbled her neck making his way to her ear, when he licked very slowly. Harley stroked her fingers through his wet hair, gently down his neck. “You need to rest,” she murmured. He grunted, gradually pulling out of her both of them moaning with the pleasure. “Finish bathing, then yeah, rest sounds good, my little vixen.” He stood taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. 

* 

She threw a pizza into the oven after making Joker get back into bed, naked after she dried him off. She came sauntering back in, pizza on plates, two beers in her other hand, naked and grinning. Joker laughed, seeing her. 

He pulled the blankets back so she could scoot onto the bed handing him a plate and then a beer. They snuggled into bed giggling as they started to brainstorm their next plan to take out Batman.


End file.
